Gay Pride, Once Again, A Backward Stride

I’m not that much of a prude, the Gay Pride Parade in Chicago actually looks kind of fun.  But if their mission is to get people (not already open or tolerant of gays) to be more tolerant, they are missing their mark.  In fact, it probably moves the Gay Civil Rights movement back long before the days of the “Twinkie defense.”

The actual name of the Gay Pride Parade has been re-branded to the “Annual Pride Parade”.  As if they wanted to hide the fact that there could be a few gays showing up to and walking in the parade.  It is the 42^nd Annual Parade of its type in Chicago, which also makes no sense to me because if they re-branded it a few years ago, the numbers should start over, right?

The photo I took of the television summarizes everything that pops up in both the minds of gays and heterosexuals.  Especially, the minds of the heterosexuals they are aiming to gain support from.  I was a child of the 70’s and a teenager of the 80’s.  I have gay and lesbian friends and relatives.  I am aware of the issues and I am fully supportive of all of the rights this group deserves and their struggle to gain those rights.  But if their mission of selling their bill of rights to populations that don’t understand or are just ignorant of the issues, the guy dancing around in tights and a tutu, isn’t going to carry that message. 

During the parade, Terry Hemmert of WXRT, 93.1fm, stated that “we are all one people”.  And she is partly right, but gays won’t be able to feel that oneness until they stop having guys in tights and black tutus doing their PR work for them. (I say "partly" right because I believe that the gay population is much more diverse than the public and gay community gives themselves credit for.  It would be nice if we as humans could be one people, so that is why I partly agree with her) We all become one by being able to integrate our society.  By being able to fit in with what is morally appropriate in public to both children and adults.  The activities that carry on in that parade are strictly for adults.  It goes beyond acceptance and having an opened mind.  And again, it looks like a great time.  Everyone there should be able to express themselves and the exaggerations of their culture as long as it doesn’t cross legal limits.  Let me be clear, it isn’t for children. 

I grew up in a time where gays had to hide who they were.  My neighbors, both in their mid 70’s at the time, were lesbians who fell in love long before I ever moved into their neighborhood.  And although they didn’t have certain rights that I wish they could have had, they did have the luxury of being able to be accepted by all of the other neighbors by being morally appropriate.  Yes, they could have thrown their own pride parade and danced around the yard in leather bikinis, oiling themselves up and waving rainbow flags around, but those of us who didn’t understand, would have shunned them.  They represent the millions of gays and lesbians who don’t participate in these types of events because they know it only hurts their struggle to be free. 

I’ve had this discussion before.  And my gay and lesbian friends (usually the much younger ones, not committed in a relationship) often say that it’s about expression.  The exaggerations of gay and lesbian culture are pushed beyond the limit for the purpose of feeling free.  And my ongoing statement is that is all fun and good, and you have the right to do it.  But if in 100 years, gays are still in the same place with much of the same population that mistreats them today, they might need to look at these types of events and the unrealistic image it portrays. 

Bill Maher: A.K.A.: Richie the Rich

The only reason I ever tune in to watch “Real Time with Bill Maher” (or any other crappy liberal program) is so that I can be ready for the ridiculousness that my liberal peers will come up with or try to find a curve ball to throw at my conservative friends.  I watch it as objectively as I do any right slanted/conservative slanted program, but much more often than not, I am witness to shallow liberal tactics (i.e. name calling, leaving out facts, changing facts to get a better applause from a misinformed audiences) and thinking that goes no deeper than the baby pool of politics. 

Once in a blue moon, shows like this will give me some ammunition.  I actually pride myself in being a conservative who can throw it back at my republican friends.  Every once in a while I will actually find a nugget that can give me the edge in making a point they haven’t thought of.  Again, these nuggets are few.  Liberal philosophy is so erratic, that I rarely have a nugget to challenge anyone with.  Last week’s episode of Bill Maher left me just as unarmed as most weeks.  But the nuggets of hypocrisy were ample. 

It amazes me how talk show hosts and newscasters like to refer to “rich people” and “the media” in general, as if they aren’t talking about themselves.  It would be like me writing a blog on “those crazy humans” and how they have such a silly compulsion for sleeping, eating and breathing just to get through the day. 

Bill Maher repeatedly took the recent Tim Pawlenty budget plan out of context and kept referring to the "huge tax breaks for rich people.”  Maher tends to go on and on with his conspiratorial connection between the republicans and so called “rich people.”   What Maher and his team of intern researchers bothered to look up, or even mention, is that the tax breaks that Pawlenty has proposed aren’t set up to benefit the rich, they are proposed to benefit everyone. 

Pawlenty proposes drops in just about every type of tax you can think of, including those pesky people making under $100,000 a year.   Yes, Bill, (as if he is reading this) even the poor people fall into that range. 

But if you can’t tell already, what really steams my bean is the continued references by Maher about “Rich People”.  Comment after comment about the rotten rich people was followed by the zombie-like thunderous applause of his audience.   Maher has learned quite well that you can always add to the uproar by accenting your sarcasm with a well placed “F” or “C” bomb.  

As I watched, I wondered.  A simple question, an obvious question.  Doesn’t Bill Maher know he is rich?  I guess when you make that much money, buy all that cool stuff and hang out with all those other rich people it is easy to forget you are rich too.  I guess it wouldn’t be as funny of a show if he realized who he really was.  Instead, he has plenty of fictitious material to use for his overly enthusiastic audience.    

Sarah Palin Email Debacle Is Now A "Fecal Matter"

[From French Press Reporter, B.M. Merde] As it turns out Sarah Palin's 25,000 emails have all been meticulously perused with a fine tooth comb only to turn up... nothing.  The results aren't "sitting well" with many Palin opposers according to Hugh Jass, Op-Ed writer for the Washington Post.  He went on to remark: "We had an assload of information and we've turned up nothing but a few lines about a tanning bed, it's a 'real boot in the goose', so to speak." 

But the sifting isn't over for both The New York Times and Washington Post who have been given exclusive access to Palin's private restroom at her residence in Wasilla, Alaska.  Even more shocking, through a court order, both have been given full access to Palin's actual private toilet and any accompanying public sewage.  Information being "leaked" about the investigation speculates that both teams of reporters plan on checking every "nut and kernel" they come across. 

New York Times Executive Editor, Carl Hott commented "We really can't wait to get our hands dirty and get down to the nitty gritty on this matter."  He further stated, "Palin lacks transparency, and we plan to get to the bottom of this if we have to rub our faces in it." 

This investigation is part of an ongoing "movement" among Democratic Party supporters who have been rumbling about Palin being repeatedly "plunged" from accountability by Republican Party supporters.

More on this, and "the end" to the story once everyone has has a chance to "digest" these recent developments...

Lance Armstrong, You Can Keep the Yellow

Most Americans feel the same about watching the Tour de France (TDF) as they feel about professional soccer games.  What is it about European sports that it often gets compared to watching paint dry or grass grow?  I do feel the same about the sport of soccer, but when it comes to the tour, I really had no choice.  My mother was born in France and my grandfather was an avid follower of the tour each year.   I was brainwashed quite early. 

I can remember visiting France in the summers as a child.  During the month of July we were surrounded by the tour everywhere we went.  Helicopters, motorcycles and roadside cameras followed the event making it available on every national television.  Even local cafés and bars had a television set up to see who was in the lead for the day.  With my grandfather speaking very little English, and myself only knowing enough French to keep from being arrested, we found a way to transcend language with our mutual interest.   I admired and followed the French riders, but with the rise of Greg Lemond, I found an American cyclist to follow and be proud of.  Even more impressive was the story of a man, shot during a hunting accident, almost died, then came back to win the tour twice (a total of three tour wins).  Greg Lemond easily won the respect of my grandfather and many French cycling enthusiasts, and became an American household name. His life story, couldn’t be topped.  Or could it?

A decade or so later, the name Lance Armstrong would soon replace Lemond’s, tenfold.  We all know the story.  Badgered by the French press (not the one you use to make that disgustingly strong coffee on Saturday mornings), Armstrong endured slanderous story after slanderous story.  Tested, taunted and re-tested, Armstrong evaded capture over 500 times.  Rumors of bribes to the UCI (Union Cycliste International), disgruntled discredited riders accusations of drug use and federal cycling officials making claims of Lance’s arrogance and questionable behavior during routine and surprise drug screenings, the man’s name remained untainted.  The critics only made themselves look like fools. 

Drug use is rampant in all sports.  Cycling isn’t immune and matter of fact it has been around since the days of amphetamine use in the early 1900’s.  Technology has advanced, which has created both better ways to test and better ways to beat the system.  When the testing became more aggressive, the champions all started dropping like flies. Verinque, Pantani, Riis, Zulle, Ullrich, names that intimidated other riders and stood on the podiums of national tours for over a decade.  Armstrong, being the rider with the most Tour de France championships, was an obvious target, it goes with the territory.  With only questionable sources pointing the finger at Lance, it all remained rumor.   

The names of Americans caught up in the doping scandals have been on the rise.  Floyd Landis and Tyler Hamilton are two Americans who have been caught and have made claim about Armstrong’s past use.  Their stories have been dismissed by most because of their own guilt with fans claiming they were just trying to sell their books. 

Today at 6pm (5-22-11, Central Standard Time), that may all change. 

The CBS show “60 Minutes” has spent the last 3 days advertising that tonight’s episode will air a story about further claims that Armstrong is as guilty as all the rest.  Even worse for Armstrong is the testimony this week to a grand jury by his ex-teammate and longtime best friend George Hincapie.  I’m sure the story will cover this extensively, despite the advertisements focus on Tyler Hamilton’s portion of the interview.  This is huge in the cycling world.  Not the claim itself, but who is making the claim.  It would be like Robin testifying against Batman. 

I am not making judgments about this scandal, I am merely expressing my sadness as a fan.   And it takes away from any thoughts I have about other past greats like Indurain, Hinault and Merckx.  

My sadness has come as I feel it is a loss.  When I feel weak, when I have had to push on, when I have had to endure things I thought I couldn’t endure, I would think of one image.   The image of a devastated man who fought back against cancer and rode like no other TDF competitor I’d ever witnessed.  When he would pass another rider in the mountains like they were sitting still, it gave me chills up my spine (in the good way).  It gave me the strength to go on, the strength to fight harder, the strength to put up with the pain and say “F” it, I’m not giving up.  I think after this story airs,  I am going to have difficulty wearing yellow for a long time. 

Chaz Bono: Extreme Fetish Makeover

Chaz Bono is a lesbian.  Chaz Bono is also a woman, and should always be considered a woman.  Regardless of any surgery, outfit she puts on, hormone therapy, ability to regulate emotion during movies where puppies get killed, or if she stands when she urinates.  The reality is, she most likely still runs and throws like a girl. 

My stance has nothing to do with what might be perceived as hostile feelings toward gays, lesbians, or bisexuals.  My concern is that once again the gay agenda is being compromised by its own inclusion of people who have an inability (or unwillingness) to set certain limits.  Men who wear dresses, heels, wigs and lipstick in public and women who try to have surgically implanted genitalia are just plain strange.  Society isn’t insensitive for thinking that.  And for gays and lesbians to let this group up on their platform, they are taking away from the legitimacy of their rights to be who they are. 

We all have impulses, fetishes, fantasies, and secret drives that we don’t tell others about.  Just the same as we all masturbate, pick our noses, fart, and surf bizarre websites when nobody else is around.   But when we feel the need to come out of the closet, just how far should we take it? 

In our politically correct, overly liberal, California minded world, limit setting has been put on the wayside.  The reality is that gender identity issues are tied to a myriad of other psychological problems.  Studies show that those who have completed gender transition are comfortable with their target gender, but often still compromised by the other mental health problems in their lives.  To me, that is like a crack head being okay with their drug use, yet unwilling to acknowledge the reality and devastation it causes in their personal and professional life.    

Call it what you want, transgender, Tran sexuality, gender reassignment, transvestism, bigender, cross-dressing, intersexuality, pangender, but in its simplest description, it is most like a fetish.  Even labeling it as a fetish is difficult because it often implies sexuality.  This population often claims it is more about the feeling of being a man or woman that dominates them, rather than their preference for certain sexual practices. 

If only we had a comparison that could express an extreme feeling that someone wanted to follow that was unacceptable in everyday society.

What about nudism?  Nudists will tell you that they have an inner drive to be nude all the time.  They feel one with nature, and it isn’t about sexuality.  Nudists will pack their things, load up their campers on a Friday after work, and truck it over to a local nudist camp where they can be free to do the normal activities of all humans, yet, in the nude.  On Sunday, they pack up their belongings, put on their clothes and drive back to mainstream America.  And on Monday, they go to work, fully clothed, yet still feeling like they want to be nude.  Just imagine if they showed up to work nude and called Human Resources for discrimination when their boss fired them. 

Chaz Bono is described as a writer, actor, and musician.   Or maybe like lots of children of celebrities, she has no real direction or career and is just bored with too much time on her hands.  If she spent some time doing anything productive, she could maybe spend less time developing her fetish.  If you run with something, there really is no end to it.  Yet for some reason, her inability to try fitting into society, will get naysayers like me labeled as homophobic and bigoted.  Acceptance is important for all of us.   That should include individuals being accepting of the expectations of society and not trying to turn everything into a freak show.  Instead, we have reversed the definition of acceptance to make the larger group fit into the smaller ideology.  Is America really that easy to push around?

Islam, Version 2.0; Porn, Pepsi and Coke Included

Is the moral of the story just……… a dude, is a dude, is a dude?  Or is this dude, and are all dudes like him, just a bunch of phoneys?

I’m referring to the recent news that a stash of porn was found at the Bin Laden Compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan.  The reports are mixed, some saying it was in video form and others stating it was a box of magazines.  What guy didn’t see this one coming?  As soon as they mentioned anything about taking computers and thumb drives from the compound, two things came to mind.  One, the primary purpose of the internet is for sexual related activity.  And two, put a man and a computer in the same room and within 20 minutes they will be “punching the clown” like nobody’s business. 

 

In Osama’s case, he also couldn’t seem to resist American made products like Pepsi, Coke and Nestle.  According to Pakistani officials, these products along with western medicine were delivered in bulk to the compound on a regular basis.  Cannabis was found growing outside the compound as well (will the toxicology reports show traces of this or other drugs in Osama’s system?). 

 I have no problem with porn.  In fact, when nobody else is around, I welcome it!  And that also goes for strippers, massage parlors, naked maid services, slutty women, easy women, scantily clad women in public, nudity contests, porn shops, hookers, peep shows, escorts……………..okay, I think you have my point. 

But wait, this son of a bitch was supposed to be against all that stuff!  I thought we are the westerners who are supposed to be a bunch of heathens that are prisoners to our own impulses.  Bin Laden sent out video tape after video tape of himself preaching about the ills of western culture, only to turn off the camera, go back to his room and chug a bottle of Yoo-hoo while rubbing one out. 

Many other reports came out this week regarding how much porn was on previous hard-drives of other captured terrorists and so called “warriors” taken custody in both Iraq and Afghanistan.  News reports this week claimed that 90% of the hard-drives taken had porn (now was that 90% of the space on the hard drives, or 90% of the actual hard drives had some type of porn?). 

What does it tell us?  Does it tell us that men are all the same?  Or does it tell us that this “leader” followed worldwide by crazies everywhere, was nothing but a poser?  The answer, yes, he was a poser (it feels nice to say "was").  And in the worst way.  It means that everything that he stood for, and everything he commanded people to do, was a sham.  He killed thousands of people and asked other young Muslims to take their own lives for his cause. 

I have to admit, that as much as I hate about Islamic fundamentalism, there is something mysterious and admirable about their devotion to their cause.  The insanity to end one’s life to defeat a power greater than yourself, know your religion and its principles inside and out, recite long prayers in unison with others of your faith several times a day, and restrict yourself from the daily temptations offered on this planet, waiting, so that someday they could be rewarded in some magnificent place, well beyond our comprehension.   

But that, my friends, is all a bunch of bullshit!

I know that earlier I mentioned we all should have seen this coming when they mentioned anything about recovering hard drives.  But now that we have the proof, I get even angrier.  Angrier for what it cost our country physically, emotionally and financially on 9/11, as well as the grief we continue to endure. I was hoping that maybe this sicko was at least for real and that those people didn’t die that much more in vain.     

Whether it’s because America is the most successful culture in the history of the world or that their whole ideology is a waste of their existence, they should at least find the balls to admit that they just hate America.  It’s not about how we live our lives or that we have entered their land.  Matter of fact, each time we have entered their lands, it was at the request of others living in their lands (why aren't they attacking those people?).  It really comes down to jealousy.  They wish they could be like America, but don’t have the means or the willingness to adjust their religion to the modern times to do so.

Osama and Saddam, Eternally Connected

Well, that’s that.  Long awaited, meagerly celebrated and overly debated, the two most infamous villains of my generation can inarguably and finally be linked together.  In death.   

I’ve always had a feeling that I would see this day come, but the long wait was really beginning to create some doubt in my mind.  This is certainly a huge victory, but only those behind the scenes really know how much better the world is without Saddam and now Bin Laden.  The college students celebrating outside the White House on Sunday evening were only about 10 years old when his name became globally and permanently imprinted into our minds. But on Monday morning, I, like the rest of America got out of bed, ate my breakfast, and went about my day.   As I arrived home from work the news continued to cover the story as it developed, but the celebration in the streets had been short lived. 

Have we as a nation become so ADD that we quickly move on to things like Zhu Zhu Pets, bacon double stacks and the unneeded sequel to the Hangover?  Or is it that for me, a conservative, working in a place saturated with liberals, I would only have been wasting my breath.  I didn’t even attempt to bring the topic up until Wednesday.  The American unity that was disassembled by liberals after 9/11 is what made this event all the more anticlimactic. 

I was a liberal on 9/11, and cringed at the sound of President Bush falling over his words right after the towers came down.  But I followed the facts, let go of my conspiracy theories and went with my instinct on what I thought should happen after this life changing event.  When I heard the opinions of those closer to the right, it became clear, I wasn’t a liberal after all.  I realized this when I started to see how the liberals I was speaking with ignored facts, changed things around or didn’t know what actually happened in history (unless it suited their argument). I also noticed how they yelled over others or easily accused people of being racists and jingoists.

The connection between Bin Laden and Saddam didn’t need to include a video of them discussing plans for 9/11 at some Paris café.   For anyone paying attention to the most recent history at the time, the connection between these two individuals was indirect, yet solid.  Bin Laden hated America as well as many other things for many reasons.  But his reason for 9/11 had everything to do with the U.S. military presence in what he believed was the holy land.  And so for one last time I ask the simple question, why were our troops deployed in the so called holy land?  The only answers I can ever get have to do with Halliburton, Dick Cheney, oil profits and American imperialism.  The true answer, as simple as it may be….. Saddam Hussein brought us there.  If he hadn’t decided to invade Kuwait and amass troops along the Saudi border, our troops would have never been sent there.  So who is the real culprit, the person who started the party, or the one who burned it down?  I say both. 

And as new terror plots and conspiracy theories unfold, we will all soon have plenty of writing material and much more to argue about.  Just remember libs, to please be fair.  Lift the lid once in a while, be sure to put it back down when you are done, and if you sprinkle while you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seaty. 

Ooops! Osama Dead, Crowd Celebrates in Front of White House

That's what happens when you take your ambien and then see a news flash that you end up getting glued to. 

Obama Dead, Crowd Celebrates in Front of White House

Fantasy Royal Wedding Camp

                                                                                        

Congratulations to the royal couple! And I mean that.  They have had a splendid wedding that was viewed by over 2 billion people worldwide.  One third of this planet’s population.  Of course now, this wedding is every little girl’s fantasy.  And a fantasy it should be.  Because as we all know, most fantasies don’t come true. 

When I speak of fantasy, I’m not talking about the wonderful relationship that I hope this couple has found in each other.  That is something that is real, and that most little girl’s, if they someday find the right man (or woman to be politically correct), deserve. 

When I use the word fantasy, I mean the image in women’s (and some men, to be politically correct again) minds about what a wedding should be.  Excessive, expensive, and unrealistic, yet realistic if one is willing to go in debt for a one day event.  For the royal couple, this wedding was well within their means.  But for the average couple, the new standard has just been set.   

The wedding industry loved this event.  It was a free commercial that will earn this industry another 40 billion dollars over the next year.  I’d be willing to bet that despite the current recession, the wedding industry, because of this televised event alone, stands to massively increase their profits over the next two summers.  And there is nothing wrong with that, they’re entitled to it.  But I believe it’s the perception of what a wedding has to be, that is the problem.   

I am the usual over-spender, and even I tried speaking sense to my future bride back in 1997 (or was it 98?..... 96?) .  What seemed like the usual disagreement at the time (we couldn’t agree on anything), was in retrospect, a financial nightmare driven by a mind poisoned lifelong distorted image of reality.   Brainwashed by the popular sense of what a wedding should be, we had the wedding that a person making 4 times our income couldn’t afford.  We we’re conditioned to believe that we needed this type of wedding. After all, it was the standard.  It was the type of wedding that all of her friends had.  It was what all of her aunts, cousins and nieces had talked about when they described weddings.  We had the little gifts, the right photography company (who still had half the people’s heads cut off in the photos), 2 flower girls, flowers (which die right after the wedding), 6 bridesmaids with accompanying groomsmen, horse and buggy, limousine, jewelry, clothing (to be worn for one day only, yet cost the same amount as a whole wardrobe), honeymoon suite, honeymoon vacation with another honeymoon suite, should I go on?   

I married a budget minded, overly frugal woman (which was actually part of the cause of our divorce) who worked very hard to keep costs down and get the best wedding bang for her buck.  This was a woman that hang dried her clothes to save money on the electric bill that would go up after having the drier running too long.  $18,000 later, one of us in college, living on our measly $26K income, and paying off wedding related credit card bills 3 years later, my frugal wife had nothing to show for her dollars but the same loser boyfriend, a video, and a wedding album.  

The bottom line is that we couldn’t afford it.  Neither can most of the couples out there getting married.  The culture of modern day society feeds into this idea, making women believe that they have to have the ultimate wedding.  Since my wedding long ago there are reality shows, cooking shows regarding wedding cakes and pastries, seminars/bridal shows, wedding planners, bachelor/bachelorette party companies, etc.  The bar has been raised several times and the expectations for weddings will continue to grow.

I tell you, the industry wasn’t always like this.  Back in the day when women were traded and sold like cattle, or just kidnapped from another tribe, this industry didn’t stand a chance.  I think I will start a business to help women save money on weddings.  Fantasy Royal Wedding Camp!  Just like sports fantasy camps that are all the rage, women can live the experience without having to put in all the hard work.  And their bankbooks and husbands will thank them in the end. 

Obama, A True Blues Brother

Our half-Kenyan President, Barack Obama, continued to kick off his 2012 re-election campaign last Wednesday night at the Masonic Center in San Francisco (such a fun name to say, Francisco! Francisco! Francisco!).  When I heard a blurb from the speech on an am radio station, I immediately thought of two things; First, I wish that am radio had DVR capabilities so that I could make sure my ears hadn’t deceived me.  My second thought was that the morsel of this speech I heard sounded familiar to me.  I couldn’t place it immediately, then, it dawned on me…  Obama was ripping off the Blues Brothers.  And not only was he ripping them off, but by golly, he IS a Blues Brother!

In the speech, Obama once again boasted about the visions he has for America.  The following, is one of his visions, in a long, redundant, run-on sentence. 

            “A vision, where we live up to the idea that no matter who you are, no matter where ya come from, no matter what ya look like, no matter whether your ancestors landed here on Ellis Island or came here on slave ships, or came here across the Rio Grande, we are all connected.”

Actually, this next quote wasn’t what followed in the speech, but what Elwood Blues (Dan Akroyd) ranted in his preamble of the song “Everybody, needs somebody to love” in the Blues Brothers Movie from 1980. 

            “And remember people: that no matter who you are, and what you do, to live, strive and survive.  There are still some things that make us all the same.  You, me, them, everybody, everybody.”

Obama’s cadence, tone, pauses and words were as unoriginal as Obama’s certificate of live birth. 

As I thought about it more and more the song got stuck in my head, and the rest of the day I couldn’t help but draw parallels between Obama and the Blues duo. 

The first parallel is that they all obviously claim residence to the great city of Chicago (notice I choose my words carefully here) and believe they are on a [delusional] mission from God. 

It’s no secret that Obama and the Blues Brothers have left an enormous wake of destruction in their paths.  You can’t tell me that Obama, being late to address every issue isn’t like the Blues Brothers showing up late to their own sold out concert event.  Both parties promised the show of shows and delivered a circus event instead.  Our leader has made a pattern out of being late to discuss or address any major issue as it’s happening.  A week, two weeks, even three weeks go by with barely a word from him or his press secretary.  After a month of skyrocketing gas prices he has finally decided to put together a task force to address the problem.  The reality, the national average last week was $4.00 a gallon.  Gitmo is still open, we’re still at war in two countries and the two parties in politics are still at war themselves.  Wasn’t this the President, that wrote in his book the “Audacity of Hope” (kind of sounds like the title from the human rights organization Amnesty International’s “Conspiracy of Hope” slogan) how he was going to bring the two great political parties together again, like it used to be in the old days?  Instead, like Obama, the brothers skipped out with all the money, and left out through the drummer’s secret back door. 

If there is any truth to the parallels I have found, then just like in the movie, the masses will gather, chase down this criminal, and justice will be served.   Then our Blues Brother President will find himself suffering the same fate of both our protagonists and the usual Illinois politician; yes, singing the blues from a prison lunchroom.  Without the secret service, maybe he use some of that book sale money as protection money in jail.  He'll just have to "spread it around a bit."

David Byrne: A Little Less Talking, A Lot More Use Of Your Head

Last week David Byrne of the long-gone-new-waved band “Talking Heads” received a somewhat half-assed and distracted online apology from former Florida Governor, Charlie Crist.  As it turns out, Crist used the song “Road to Nowhere” (a great lyrical choice to kick off your run for office, by the way) as his campaign theme when attempting to switch from Republican Governor to Independent Senator in 2010.  Crist used the song, but never obtained a license to do so.  Byrne, unlike most songwriters, artists, actors, poets, writers, journalists, MSNBC employees, thespians, entertainers, producers, directors and MSNBC employees, is shockingly, some type of liberal or something.    Crist, who was then whisked off to court, lost the case and was ordered to issue an apology as part of his restitution. 

We all get this, right?  Someone running for office wants to make sure they have a hook for their campaign, so they sit down with their planners and pick out slogans, strategies and songs to promote their new political direction.  Crist, who was 25 when the song was still retrievable in tangible form, probably grew up being a fan of the band and it all seemed like an easy fit. 

But, it’s not that easy.  In fact, Byrne and Crist are both wrong, and Crist was taken advantage of like an Uno player with one card left forgetting to call out “Uno”, first.

Music copyright laws are set up to protect artists so that they are compensated for the songs they create.  But what most of the articles written on this story fail to recognize is that to protect the artist’s work, it is legally allowed to be used by ANYONE!  No if’s, and’s or but’s.  If someone wants the license, they are legally entitled to it.  Crist’s main mistake was that his campaign wasn’t diligent enough to obtain or even attempt to obtain a license for the song.

It doesn’t matter what Byrne thinks or feels he needs in this situation.  Artists have the right to compensation for their work, but they don’t have the right to pick and choose who their fans are, let alone who they politically disagree with that likes them and wants to use their songs.  Selling that song is the reason he published it in the first place. Crist was forced to apologize for not asking permission, when in fact legally, all he didn’t do is fill out an application, and turn it in.  If anything, he should have had to apologize for having awful taste, lack of due diligence and an out-of-touch campaign theme. 

Byrne, after having won the case made the following statement. “It turns out I am one of the few artists who has the bucks and cojones to challenge such usage.”  Cojones? Please.  Byrne is nothing more than an overrated, out of the spotlight,  liberal musician, taking issue with an American conservative politician, yet unwilling to even become a U.S. citizen first.  Byrne, like a mouthy prostitute, should be happy he’s at least getting paid, say “thank you,” and go on his way.  Matter of fact, what if Charlie Crist applied for a proper music license when David Byrne applies for U.S. citizenship?